I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
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Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
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Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
the raccoons are back...
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