I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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