Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize