she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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