i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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