another moral hangover. fuck.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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