Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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