My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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