whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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