By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
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my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
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we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I did not marry a roomba.
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