I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Couch. On fire.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize