I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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