i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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