i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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