: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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