I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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