i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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