she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize