I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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