**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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