turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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