Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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