you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
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Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
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I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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