Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize