whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
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She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
vagina is talking i cant
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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