People in love make me want to vomit
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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