So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize