How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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