WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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