We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
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Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
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Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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