There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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