P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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