Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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