No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
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do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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