I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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