I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
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Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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