just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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