So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize