we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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