Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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