Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
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