I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize