are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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