3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
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I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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