I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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