Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
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Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
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Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize