Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
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How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
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Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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