Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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