i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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