Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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